Random Mutterings of a Weird Little Spaz

WOAH!!!

2005-10-24T21:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is a completely irrelevant post:
Wait... Then again, so is this whole blog...

ANYWHO:
I have a crazy idea...What would happen if I decided to spray myself with bugspray and run through the campfire?

I'd catch on fire and jump in the lake, of course!!!

(Considering that there is a lake....)

Antichrist Revealed: NO WAY!

2005-09-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is definitely a joke, but think about it...

Barney the Dinosaur may be the antichrist, because John, the writer of Revelation, would never have known what a dinosaur looked like, it's logical to assume he would have identified any vision of Barney as one of a dragon. Taking this into consideration, you might find the following Scriptures quite revealing: Revelation 12:3, "And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon…,"
Revelation 13:4, "And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him?"
Revelation 20:2, "And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years."

Think about it...

Arabian nights.

2005-09-15T15:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm not sure how many of us know the actual lyrics to this, but here it is, straight from Disney's movie, Aladdin, it's ARABIAN NIGHTS:

Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place
Where the caravan camels roam
Where they cut off your ear
If they don't like your face
It's barbaric, but hey, it's home

When the wind's from the east
And the sun's from the west
And the sand in the glass is right
Come on down
Stop on by
Hop a carpet and fly
To another Arabian night

Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways

Arabian nights
'Neath Arabian moons
A fool off his guard
Could fall and fall hard
Out there on the dunes

Welcome All.

2005-09-02T17:10:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. This is my spaztic little site of quotes, phrases, and randomly crazy things. This is where you can find such crazyness as my horrible misspelling of words like 'crazyness' and 'spaztic', random quotes, and all around insanity. My other blog is where I post my semi-serious stuff, though a LOT of that is also somewhat bizarre. What can I say? That's the same kinda stuff I like. Anyway, enjoy this site. I know I will.

If at first you don't succeed...

2005-09-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

Interesting quotes that all start the same way:

IF YOU DON'T SUCCEED,...

...cheat or try bribery. Works every time!

...cheat until you get caught, and then lie your way out of it.

...destroy all evidence you ever tried.

...you're an idiot. Kill yourself.

...kill everyone who ever met you. Then no one will find out that you messed up.

Pick-up lines to NEVER use.

2005-09-02T15:55:00.000-07:00

Pick-up lines that never work. I've tried most of them. Here goes:

Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"]... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day long.

Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

And Finally;

Can I flirt with you?

Interesting thoughts...

2005-09-02T15:44:00.000-07:00

More rondomness to add to your dreary lifestyles.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn't you be able to go anywhere you want?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say 'do you find something funny?' When obviously we do?

Crazyness

2005-09-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, I still can't spell 'crazyness' correctly. So what? Anyway, here are some little funny things I've found/heard.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Many people learn through observation. Others learn through experimentation. Yet there are those that actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's hot.

If you don't like my driving, then STAY OFF OF THE SIDEWALK!

"They mis-underestimated me..." -George W. Bush, President.

"We must hang together, or we will hang separately." -Benjamin Franklin.

Wedding Rings: Exchanged with love, returned with velocity.

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Also, who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?